


But For You, I'd Have Been Long Gone

by ChromeEdwardian



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 11:57:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4220829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromeEdwardian/pseuds/ChromeEdwardian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders thinks he's making everything up, Hawke feels helpless after Keeper Marethari is killed. Sometimes, the only comfort they can take is in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But For You, I'd Have Been Long Gone

Barking shook him from his concentration. Hawke must have just gotten home from Sundermount. Anders put down his quill, moved his writing away from the low-burning candle, and ran downstairs to greet her.

Hawke gave him a faint smile, as she undid her leathers and dropped them to the ground. She was soaking wet. The mabari was jumping at her in joy.

"What happened up there?" he asked.

"Marethari's dead," Hawke said. She shrugged, but her voice was solemn. "I guess somehow she interfered with Merrill's bargain. Kill demon, kill Marethari...blood magic." She sneered the word. Anders had to agree in this case. In some cases, blood magic could be the only way to do something, but oftentimes the wrong people used it for the wrong purpose. It didn't help matters that everyone had blood, yet much fewer knew how to harness its power responsibly. Hawke had dismissed the notion of "acceptable" blood magic altogether.

"Did you--"

"I don't get it--" Hawke said at the same time. They paused, willing the other to continue until Anders spoke up.

"Did you find a way to fix the eluvian?" he asked.

"It might be a while until I find out. Merrill needs to grieve." A pause followed while she was clearly trying to phrase something in her mind. "...But why does she insist on restoring something that can _only_ be done unsafely?" She gestured for him to follow her upstairs so she could change.

This wasn't Hawke's usual brand of exasperated anger; it was the anger of someone who hated seeing her friends hurt; of someone who could do nothing to avenge that hurt.

"Do you really need me to answer that?" asked Anders. "It's Arlathan."

"Even if they do get their artifacts recovered," Hawke said, sliding into her finery, her voice trembling, "and even if every mystery about their ancestors is solved, it's never coming back and Merrill doesn't..."

Anders interrupted. "Arlathan, Lothering, I see very few differences there."

Hawke frowned. "I'm making this about myself again."

Anders felt a smile tug at his lips. "I didn't say that." He wanted to hold her. He didn't particularly care much for Merrill or her project, but she was important to Hawke. And he hated seeing his partner like this. He watched her walking around the room, brushing her wet hair out, dripping on the carpet, inviting that particular damp smell into his nose.

"Could...could you look at my letter to Elthina for a moment? Tell me if it's serious enough? If you're up for it."

"...Alright." Hawke went to the table and bent close to the light so she could see. "Why wouldn't it be serious? You don't think equality will come with stunning displays of wit."

Anders rubbed at his arms. "Sometimes I can't tell anymore."

"Anders. Love," she said, eyes skimming the paper. His face warmed. So rarely did she use pet names. "You are doing good work. Don't _ever_ doubt that."

"You're more than a little biased." His hand made its way to hers, the one not holding the letter. Just some human contact. He craved it, always had. "It seems like the worse things get, the less convinced I am that what I'm seeing _with my own eyes_ is the truth."

Her index finger stroked one of his knuckles. "For instance, with Ser Alrik dead, most would assume things are back to normal?"

He nodded, but she couldn't see him, still reading.

"They're all cowards turning their heads because the reality of things is too awful to stomach," she murmured. "And you're being inconvenient."

"When have I ever been otherwise?"

Hawke straightened and kissed his chin. "You're perfect. Now a few edits..."


End file.
